These two past Wednesdays we discussed both healthy, disengaged and enmeshed families and also children maturing and growing. Disengaged families are those which are centrifugal (which means they push away from others). The pros of this type of family is the development of independence is faster and more prominent in this family, the development of self-reliance and autonomy is fast as well. However, the children in these types of families often leave home way too early and have difficulty in trusting people and expressing love. These families often have low expectations and do not expect much of their child, however they have a sense of Pseudo-hostility, which means they may fight a lot, but deep down they really care about each other. On the other end of the family scale is Enmeshed families, which are the opposite of Disengaged families. They are very close together, there is much love and closeness and often have a tight family history. Often they can have the exact opposite of pseudo-hostility, which is pseudo-mutuality(where they look together but they don't really know each other). However, enmeshed families can often be controlling, smothering and have high expectations. Healthy families are in the middle of the scale, they have qualities of both, but they embrace change in lifestyles and their family members.
The overall point for helping children grow and mature is to praise and scold specifically. Praise kids for their talents and what makes them happy, as they get older you should ask them questions instead of telling them what to do. Parents must allow the child enough responsibilities and praise to help boost self-esteem, but not too much to make them overly-dependant or arrogant.