Day 2(Kinda Late)

Last Wednesday we discussed Erikson's Psychosocial Stages of Development, which is essential to the development of the Ego and The Self in children and to an extent the parent's as well. For example; forming the bonds of trust is the first stage, if the parents help provide adequate care to the child, then the child will gain basic trust in people and realizes that they are dependable. If not, the child will develope mistrust and this can lead to depression, anti-social behavior and even paranoia. These stages are all about balance and communication between the child and parent, failure of completing these stages properly can lead to problems later on for the child and possibly the parent.

For example, take a child who has to make a creative project for class, but in doing so gets paint colors everywhere in the room. The kid shows the parent the painting hoping to be praised for their hard work. Now this can go in three ways: 1. The adult could praise the child for making the painting and ignore the mess and clean it up later(which would completely pass over a self-control and basic hygiene lesson), 2. The parent could ignore the painting and scold the child for the huge mess that he/she has to clean up and 3. The parent could acknowledge the hard work of the child but also show the child that the mess is still there and now they have to clean it. Reaction one would give the child to much purpose and not enough guilt, which could cause the child to become somewhat ruthless, not caring about the consequences of their actions. Reaction two would do the exact opposite and give the child too much guilt, which would lead to the child having a lot of inhibition and not try due to fear of being repermanded. Reaction three would produce a balanced outcome, the child would feel proud that they took initiative but also would understand that they did in fact make a mess and need to clean it.

Now these examples are based early on in life(0-12), but they do have affect on the future. Many people who are in jail actually failed the first stage(trust). They don't feel like they can trust others, so they have a darker perception of the world and lack hope, so they are more easily turned to criminal actions or reckless behavior(present in the second stage Shame and Doubt and the third Initiative and Guilt).

We also discussed independence in teens(which, by the way is the fifth stage). Teens "try" on different identities to figure out who they are as people(strengths, weaknesses, occupations, sexual identity, etc.), where they use their friends as a reflection of themselves. Many parents know about that one friend that their child has that is a sort of "wild card", where you don't exactly trust the friend to lead your child towards their goals. But this is a sort of safe exploring of the child's own psyche. Instead of partaking in reckless behavior(which is still possible), they live that part of themselves through their friends. So that "wild card" friend is important to have, you just need to keep an eye on them.

This week we will be discussing more about autonomy(which I'm really excited about). So stay tuned!